Gewoon erg grappig!

Bij deze eens een keer een nieuw bericht dat ik niet zelf heb geschreven! Ik kreeg het doorgestuurd en heb er echt zo hard om gelachen, dat ik het jullie wil laten lezen. Het is door een Amerikaan geschreven, dus niet in het Nederlands en dus sorry voor de vele f***. Dit blijkt ons dus nog te wachten te staan.... ben benieuwd.... Wij denken steeds, eigenwijs als we misschien een beetje zijn, dat het het wel mee zal vallen die warmte...
Komt ie:

This following extract is taken from an American who moved to Dubai
earlier last year...

April 30th:
Just got transferred to work and live in beautiful Dubai, UAE! WOW!!!
Now this is a city that knows how to live!!! Beautiful sunny days and
warm balmy evenings. It's like New York City minus all the crocks,
murderers, and drunks. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck
chair on my beautiful bedroom verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally
found my home. I love it here.

May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an
air- conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, and everything is
fully air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like
this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today around our
lovely pool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No
more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
Heat is no problem at all.

June 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 95 all week even during the night.
How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind
of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I
expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body.
Missed 5 days of work. What a dumb thing to do in this lovely city. I
learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
this.

July 20th:
Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left for the office. By
the time I got to the hot car for my lunch break, Kitty had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $60,000
Audi. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like
Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in
this heat.

July 25th :
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f *** hair dryer in here!!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner died. The f *** AC
repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me it was
broken in f *** Hindu English or some language that I couldn't
understand.

July 30th:
Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3
nights now because it is 7000 f *** degrees inside. Bloody 2,000,000
Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
F*** the sun. F*** the wind. F*** the freakin' ocean. And f ***
locals walk around dressed in white tablecloths followed by little
black female ninjas. f *** crazy town.

August 4th:
It's 114 f *** degrees today. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner
fixed. It cost 2,000 f *** Dirhams and got the temperature down to
25, but the f *** humidity makes the house feel 30 f *** Dubai
degrees. Stupid terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid f *** place.

August 8th:
If another local wiseass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going
to f *** whack him all the way back to his goddamn desert. f ***
Dubai; by the time I get to work with all that f *** traffic and
heat, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet,
and I smell like a baked cat!!!

August 9th:
Tried to run some errands today because it is f *** Friday. Wore
shorts and sat on the black leather seats in my Audi. The seat was so
f *** hot I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and
all the hair on the back of my legs and my f *** ass. Now my car
smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and a baked cat.

August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f *** recording. Hot, humid
and f *** sunny. Hot, humid and f *** sunny. Hot, humid and
f *** sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and
the weatherman dude wearing the f *** white tablecloth on TV says it
might really warm up next week. Does it ever rain in this damn f ***
place? What is next, a f *** hell freezing over wave?

August 14th:
WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Now the
air-conditioner's gone in my f *** Audi. The f *** Audi serviceman
said, 'Hot enough for you today?' F*** him and f*** Audi. My wife had
to spend the 7,000 Dirham to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting
that stupid f *** Paki bastard wiseass. F*** Dubai! What kind of a
sick demented f *** idiot would want to live in this shit hole?

August 15th: (Independence Day ?)
F*** this place. I'm off back to New York